Friday, 13 September 2013

Resurrection ...

In my element: on my travels with time to write and sketch
I last posted on this, the most personal of my blogs, seven months ago - on 14th February. Since then, a whole Spring and Summer have somehow passed me by. It has been a fraught time, a life I have not felt able to share though alluded to occasionally elsewhere. Where did the wild child go? 

Dancing in  my mind ...
She struggled; events became overwhelming, tumbling one over another in a frightening whirlwind. Even breathing seemed impossible. Well, hopefully she now has  it cracked. I am not ashamed to outline the solution. For 'WSC' is of course ME., and always has been.

Feeling spiky !

The cause of my inability to function: three years of RQ's health problems led to those of my own and a summer when I became increasingly unwell. Nothing physical it transpired after tests and repeated visits to our excellent doctor. In the end, she referred me to a consultant to sort my mental state. There, I've said it. Mental. Had it affected my professional commissions I would have been hesitant to comment; it didn't - everything just took me longer, and with a heavy heart.

Sitting on my consultant's table was a perfect starry allium seed head,
just like this which I grew in my potager.
The consultant was brilliant and set me on a road to recovery in just six weeks. I will never forget the sessions sitting in her beautiful consulting room, talking, as she gently released me from my fears and worries. There have been setbacks, as long ago as last week in Brittany; but at least I now know how to cope. And how to pace myself. The consultant's aim was to make herself redundant, allowing me to sort the problem in my own mind. A mind which is functioning clearly again.

Eight months on and the kitchen is gradually returning to normal
(and the painting was gifted to us by the artist, a fellow aviator at
Blackbushe where RQ and I learned to fly in the mid-'70s on this aircraft)
Strangely, the creative muse never left me which was such a relief, though everything else has suffered. But today I began the reclamation of the kitchen. RQ still on his knees polishing the floor, whilst I washed glass and crockery and started to put the larder back together. The forgotten garden is another matter; brambles have rampaged through all my overgrown beds, and vegetables sown in March have gone the way of all neglected produce.

One of the slides I have prepared for my forthcoming presentation
I have new goals, and further directions to explore. Not all will be achieved and plans will surely change. But I truly hope that others who may feel they have somehow reached the end of the road and strangulation point can take heart from my experience, and the good fortune to encounter a consultant as helpful as I had. Updates on my activities will appear on my various blogs, according to the topic. Right now, I have a month to prepare a public slide presentation on 'My Stitching Story' - a new challenge; I have never done this before and haven't even yet switched on my new projector !!

In the garden today:
a rain-drop bejewelled spider's web
See you next time - here, or on one of my other Blogs. (And it's Friday 13th ... I don't think I am superstitious, but am now not sure whether I should be posting this 'confession'.)


  1. No reason to worry WC, it's always nice to know when someone is fighting back, the blues are almost over and there is always tomorrow for everything else! Hang in there!

  2. Ann I have been through similar experiences as you. The very mention of mental health problems becomes a huge stumbling block for some. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and borderline bi-polar. Let me say this diagnosis was 30 years ago and I have been on medication ever since(with regular checkups). Once I got past the initial diagnoses and got the meds sorted out -- -- and with the aid of a fantastic psychiatrist, (see I am not afraid of that word!) I have been leading a normal and very productive life. I say "Praise the Lord" for our good mental health professionals!!! I have spoken publically a number of times about my "mental health" issues because I believe the fear and the stigma attached is so misplaced. There are millions of people out there who have similar problems and have never got the help they need. These problems should be just a glitch in the road, in the process of living a fulfilled and satisfying life. Hope this is some encouragement to you.

  3. Pleased you found the help you needed and things are coming together again for you. I'm looking forward to seeing your new work.
    Best wishes for you and RQ
    Barbara x

  4. It's so good to see you back, and I am sorry to hear of your personal problems and troubles. Worry and stress take their toll - we have gone through 3 years of trying to support our eldest daughter through a terribly traumatic time - but she seems to be on the mend now, and FINALLY has the help she needs to deal with her mental health issues (starting CGT soon).

    Such things seem to be sweapt under the carpet, but there should be no shame in speaking of them.

    P.S. Having been ill and laid up for a couple of months with Pleurisy and a chest infection in spring, my garden too has suffered . . . so you are Not Alone with the weeds!

  5. Wishing you rejuvenated health and much much more happiness. Xx

  6. I am pleased to see you back and learn that you are recovered now.

  7. Glad to see you back and well, and installed in your kitchen, busily clearing away all the dust...
    All the best.

  8. Now that you are back it reminds me to look for you other posts. Depression can get us at any time. The chemical unbalance catches us off guard but now it's easier to figure oud treat:)

  9. I don't know if you came back and read my note to your comment on my blog, but I am SO happy to 'see' you again.
    Will your presentation be online anywhere (she asked hopefully)?

    1. Nan, I need to finish creating it first before thinking about what to do with it afterwards. All I can say is 'watch this space!'. At least the projector works.

  10. Replies
    1. Nan, don't hold your breath; I have so much ongoing at present and never know on which of my blogs I will be posting. But I always add a link to the latest offering on Facebook - so best to watch that. xx

  11. Dear Ann: I am very glad to hear you are feeling better. I am also grateful to have found you again. We were friends on Facebook until May 2013, when I deleted my account and lost many friends. I couldn't remember your name, but then got the idea that we probably had artist friends in common. I looked at some of their friend lists, and as soon as I saw your name I recognized it!

    I have sent you a friend request, which I hope you will accept. I'm very glad to remake your acquaintance.

    Best wishes,